What the hell is wrong with all these people who need to talk on the damn phone while driving?
Who needs to be on the phone all the time? I've seen people pulling out of there own damn drive ways and talking on the phone. WTF? I swear for God these people must be the most empty headed people that ever lived. Chatter Chatter Chatter. All about nothing. The other day I was standing at a urinal in a men's room taking a whiz and the dude next to me was peeing and yapping on his cell phone at the same time.
Thanks be to God for hands free devices. Seriously, what kind of life is this guy leading that he can't say to WHOEVER - "hey man, i need to take a piss, let me call you back." ???
Everyone can communicate in so many ways all the time that communication itself has been rendered meaningless.
Hey, I stubbed my toe! Let me text my BFF!
Hey I'm stuck in traffic! I can't take being alone for 10 seconds! Let me call someone I don't care about at all so I can talk about American Idol and avoid one single moment of a possible existential crisis!
It's 2pm and I'm still in my pajamas! Let me email everyone I know with a picture of a cute cat!
Everyone needs to get off the phone for a week. Just stop talking to anyone who is not in the room. Then try no TV for a week. Get off the mindless chatter grid.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Daylight Savings time
I friggin hate Daylight Savings Time. Whoever came up with this little bit of aggravating as hell nonsense needs a mule kick to the crotch. The day does NOT need to go on until 9pm. EVER. For any reason. We are not all Eskimos in July. I'm not hunting seals for a late dinner. Some of us want some damn nighttime to kick back and watch TV. Law and Order doesn't work during the day - I don't care how much USA repeats it.
This year the goodballs in congress even added to DST in the Spring and the Fall. Sheeeat! Why don't we just move the clock 12 hours and make 3am into 3pm and put Christmas on Flag Day, reclassify cats as dogs, and change U.S.A. to W.T.F.????
These endless days are suppose to save energy. Listen Congressman Bonehead - why don't you actually do something real to encourage energy savings? Oh NO! We can't ask people to turn off their bloody lights when they leave a room. We can't build more public transport so people might WANT to take it to work instead of being stuffed into a moving public toilet called a bus. We all don't have a private subway system to take us to our desk like you brats in congress.
Leave the damn sun out of it, you lazy smucks.
Instead of actually conserving the best idea is to move that damn clocks and pretend the day is longer. You know what, I'm not 8 years old, I don't need to play hopscotch on the driveway with my girlfriends at 8:30 bloody PM.
God wants the day to end between 5 and 7pm. That's why he invented Happy Hour.
This year the goodballs in congress even added to DST in the Spring and the Fall. Sheeeat! Why don't we just move the clock 12 hours and make 3am into 3pm and put Christmas on Flag Day, reclassify cats as dogs, and change U.S.A. to W.T.F.????
These endless days are suppose to save energy. Listen Congressman Bonehead - why don't you actually do something real to encourage energy savings? Oh NO! We can't ask people to turn off their bloody lights when they leave a room. We can't build more public transport so people might WANT to take it to work instead of being stuffed into a moving public toilet called a bus. We all don't have a private subway system to take us to our desk like you brats in congress.
Leave the damn sun out of it, you lazy smucks.
Instead of actually conserving the best idea is to move that damn clocks and pretend the day is longer. You know what, I'm not 8 years old, I don't need to play hopscotch on the driveway with my girlfriends at 8:30 bloody PM.
God wants the day to end between 5 and 7pm. That's why he invented Happy Hour.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
It's true. I hated Sex and the City.
Yes, I do tell the ending. Get over it. It's not like you don't know it.
I must come clean on one of the biggest issues of the last weeks. It is not easy - but it is certainly time.
I hated the Sex and the City movie. More than that - I pretty much hated all the characters in the movie - which is odd, since I liked the TV show and often liked the characters in the show.
The movie was pathetic. And for Christ Sake - two and half hours long??? I had to spend two and half hours with these whiny misguided, mean people??? Okay I did not HAVE to and admit to having nothing much else to do that night - but jeez Louise - if a movie is 2 1/2 bloody hours long I want some expansive world changing event rendered on screen. The Russian Revolution or some Brit dressed as an Arab rewriting the map of the Middle East. Not some co-dependent ninnies who keep going back to their banal men. I want some damn 70 millimeter footage - not a film that looked like it was shot on Super 8. In a Super 8 motel.
And if you are going to lead us to a wedding in a 2 1/2 half hour movie - I want to see the goddamn wedding- with dressed up extras, and a freaking organ playing. Even if Big wasn't there. Of course, the budget was, no doubt, absorbed by all those impossible to replace actors - so we got a hallway instead.
And don't tag me with "sexist" either. The WORST character in the film was the vapid Mr. Big. He's a guy Elane Benis on Seinfeld would have found "unspongeworthy" - yet Carrie, our hero, keeps forgiving the unforgivable. The weenie could not get out of his own damn car to show up to his own goddamn wedding. God, I LOATH him. Carrie should have given him a mule kick to the crotch and got us all home in time to have a decent supper. But then again - if they had gotten married someone would have had to work on an actual script - not one written by someone who cut and paste episodes of Rhoda and That Girl.
As for the others - really who cares? What was the "follow the White guy with the kid" line when whats her name was looking for a new neighborhood ? Gratuitous gross racism, that's what.
And that baby obsessed one who crapped herself in Mexico. (another bizarre race baiting insult) Was that supposed to be funny? Oh yeah, it was plot devise to let us know Carrie could smile again. Poop will do that for a post modern Mrs. Haversham.
My 3 friends and I did play the perfunctory game of "Which character are you?" before the train wreck got underway. I was voted Samantha hands down - which I was proud of until about half way through the movie. What was so empowering about a woman in charge of her sexuality on the TV show - became a contrived B-plot designed to reinforce the myth that a great sex life and monogamy are mutually exclusive. Nice. At least she didn't run back to an idiotic man when the one who loved her was not enough to paper over her pathology.
Best to leave Jennifer Hudson alone - except to say: She won an Oscar?
As for the reunion of Carrie and Big. New Line, no doubt running out of cash by this point, decided to shoot the scene in a closet. Carrie, you know, the liberated woman, had to go and get her shoes before the new tenant took over. Surely she was thinking it would make a fine chapter is one of the asinine tree killing books she supposedly writes. The pablum in her voice overs made me want to see one of the Bronte sisters rise from the grave and punch her lights out.
All I can say is - the men and women in these tales of Sex and the City need to go away. Forever.
I must come clean on one of the biggest issues of the last weeks. It is not easy - but it is certainly time.
I hated the Sex and the City movie. More than that - I pretty much hated all the characters in the movie - which is odd, since I liked the TV show and often liked the characters in the show.
The movie was pathetic. And for Christ Sake - two and half hours long??? I had to spend two and half hours with these whiny misguided, mean people??? Okay I did not HAVE to and admit to having nothing much else to do that night - but jeez Louise - if a movie is 2 1/2 bloody hours long I want some expansive world changing event rendered on screen. The Russian Revolution or some Brit dressed as an Arab rewriting the map of the Middle East. Not some co-dependent ninnies who keep going back to their banal men. I want some damn 70 millimeter footage - not a film that looked like it was shot on Super 8. In a Super 8 motel.
And if you are going to lead us to a wedding in a 2 1/2 half hour movie - I want to see the goddamn wedding- with dressed up extras, and a freaking organ playing. Even if Big wasn't there. Of course, the budget was, no doubt, absorbed by all those impossible to replace actors - so we got a hallway instead.
And don't tag me with "sexist" either. The WORST character in the film was the vapid Mr. Big. He's a guy Elane Benis on Seinfeld would have found "unspongeworthy" - yet Carrie, our hero, keeps forgiving the unforgivable. The weenie could not get out of his own damn car to show up to his own goddamn wedding. God, I LOATH him. Carrie should have given him a mule kick to the crotch and got us all home in time to have a decent supper. But then again - if they had gotten married someone would have had to work on an actual script - not one written by someone who cut and paste episodes of Rhoda and That Girl.
As for the others - really who cares? What was the "follow the White guy with the kid" line when whats her name was looking for a new neighborhood ? Gratuitous gross racism, that's what.
And that baby obsessed one who crapped herself in Mexico. (another bizarre race baiting insult) Was that supposed to be funny? Oh yeah, it was plot devise to let us know Carrie could smile again. Poop will do that for a post modern Mrs. Haversham.
My 3 friends and I did play the perfunctory game of "Which character are you?" before the train wreck got underway. I was voted Samantha hands down - which I was proud of until about half way through the movie. What was so empowering about a woman in charge of her sexuality on the TV show - became a contrived B-plot designed to reinforce the myth that a great sex life and monogamy are mutually exclusive. Nice. At least she didn't run back to an idiotic man when the one who loved her was not enough to paper over her pathology.
Best to leave Jennifer Hudson alone - except to say: She won an Oscar?
As for the reunion of Carrie and Big. New Line, no doubt running out of cash by this point, decided to shoot the scene in a closet. Carrie, you know, the liberated woman, had to go and get her shoes before the new tenant took over. Surely she was thinking it would make a fine chapter is one of the asinine tree killing books she supposedly writes. The pablum in her voice overs made me want to see one of the Bronte sisters rise from the grave and punch her lights out.
All I can say is - the men and women in these tales of Sex and the City need to go away. Forever.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
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